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Feeling Down
Sitting in the woods with a few familiar faces, the world tries to flee. I hold on for dear life and my brain fights to hold on the way a person fights for air when they are drowning and can’t swim. I’m not letting go this time, but everything changes in moments and suddenly I’m in a box. My skin tugs and pulls, like it wants to go somewhere without me. Slipping in and out of my awareness, I almost disappear completely. Part of me wants to. I remember the last time I sat here, in this forest that I’ve never been to. I remember the faces even though they are completely different. Realizing that the world begins and ends at my feet seems like a revolutionary idea, but I feel as though I’ve known all along. I don’t want to fall into that hole again. It goes on forever, to the finish line of your life. The great spirits Mom and Dad open the book and begin reading. Every sin, every dirty thought, they are all forever carved into our souls. I listened until the end of time, and then I listened longer. Then I was out of the hole, back to the familiar faces, back to my skin, back to the fighting for air. I’m sure it all happened differently then I remember. And when I reminisce I don’t remember ever climbing out. Maybe I’m still there.
