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All we can do is endure.
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Feeling Down
Sitting in the woods with a few familiar faces, the world tries to flee. I hold on for dear life and my brain fights to hold on the way a person fights for air when they are drowning. I’m not letting go this time, but everything changes in moments and suddenly I’m in a box. My skin tugs and pulls, like it wants to go somewhere without me. Slipping in and out of my awareness, I almost disappear completely. Part of me wants to. I remember the last time I sat here, in this forest that I’ve never been to. I remember the faces even though they are completely different. Realizing that the world begins and ends at my feet seems like a revolutionary idea, but I feel as though I’ve known all along. I don’t want to fall into that hole again. It goes on forever, to the finish line of your life. The great spirits Mom and Dad open the book and begin reading. Every sin, every dirty thought, they are all forever carved into our souls. I listened until the end of time, and then I listened longer. I was out of the hole, back to the familiar faces, back to my skin, back to the fighting for air. I’m sure it all happened differently then I remember. And when I reminisce I don’t remember ever climbing out. Maybe I’m still there.
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Story of My Life.
Another perfect moment passes me by, and there is no one around to share it with. The right music can make any image beautiful. Wish you were here.
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tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
I have nightmares from a traumatic event that occurred when I was less than 2 years old. But my earliest actual memory is being 3 years old and losing my Bugs Bunny action figure in the ball pit at McDonald’s. He had a gun that shot a carrot. It was my first favorite toy, and I let it slip through my fingers. Like everything else..
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Confusion Kills
I’ve always had problems with love in one way or another. Either I can’t find it when I want it, or it finds me when I don’t want anything to do with it. I try so hard to love just one person, but my heart has the tendency of opening up to multiple people at once. I care so deeply for so many people, and for so many different reasons. It’s become difficult for me to siphon out love from lust, adoration, respect, and admiration. I sit waiting as patiently as I can for someone to completely steal my heart, and any time I believe it has happened, I am proven wrong. I want nothing more than to quit on love all together, but I can’t. I’m completely powerless against it. I want to fly in and save every woman who talks to me from the monotony of everyday life. I want to hold each and every one of them, and tell them all that everything will be alright. I have such a seemingly endless capacity for love. I hate seeing someone I care about struggle with loneliness and despair. I hate it to the point that my heart bleeds for them. These feelings often grow into love, and then when I save the day, I desire nothing more than to fly away and save the next damsel in distress. Wracked with guilt immediately after, I drown in regret. I just want someone to sweep me off of my feet, to save me from myself. I want someone to completely steal my heart. I want too much…
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I taught him everything he knows.
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